|Shadharvest using reinforced nets — artisanal bridge in background|
If you’re concerned about eating such a bony fish — don’t worry! Although hundreds of people get the bones stuck in their throat every year there have been no fatalities at the festival since 2001. Similar to the ubiquitous anti-venom kit in Australia, Lambertville residents all carry personal fishbone-removal packs, a necessity if you are going to eat the fish regularly. Adept locals can clear the throat of a suffocating tourist in a matter of seconds, allowing the fun to continue as if nothing happened!
While you’re in Lambertville be sure to cross the river to New Hope, Pennsylvania. The bridge across the Delaware was designed by local artists and although its narrow, slippy, grille-based structure is not suitable for motorized vehicles, the resulting “artistic river journey” is well worth the risk. New Hope was the first town in the United States to decriminalize cannabis, legalizing the drug for recreational use in 1996, a milestone that has not been publicized nationally as no-one outside of the immediate vicinity has yet noticed. The town is also home to an autochthonous population of witches–believed to be the highest sorcerer-density in the Northeastern United States–and the municipality’s witch dunking apparatus (used to confirm all applicants for witching status) is seen perched on the banks of the Delaware, a man-made river crane welcoming all who dare to cross!