Scrottfroght’s Peanut-Free Peanuts

New from Scrottfroght’s: genetically modified peanuts that do not contain any trace of peanuts!

Scientists in the R&D division of our canning operations have used leading-edge CRISPR technology to genetically remove all peanut from the nut. Anders–a lifelong peanut allergist–had this revelation on tasting peanuts for the first time at the age of 36:

It’s a miracle! They taste so delicious, I never imagined that the nut I have been afraid of all my life could taste so good! Thank you Scrottfroght’s!

Peanut-free peanuts brought to you by Scrottfroght’s, the world leader in fermented herring bladders.