Acting quickly to establish its own identity in preparation for Brexit, U.K. lawmakers are to introduce a new regulation to establish a “uniquely British” legal framework. The Local Government (Religious etc. Observances) Act 2016 will make principles contained in British folk aphorisms and Church of England parables legally enforceable. A Parliament spokesman told The Tribune:
“Folk wisdom is the oldest expression of the British spirit; it is only fitting that at this time we build the legal tools to ensure that the whole country, without exception, abides by this Britishness”
The Turunn Tribune obtained some details of the legislation, and can exclusively reveal the following excerpts from Chapter 27 of the rule:
Section 2.2 (b): Upon purchase of more than one container of eggs, said containers shall not be carried in the same receptacle
Section 3.3.3: Equine trading that does not involve exchange of monetary assets will not be conducted on the basis of an oral examination
Section 4.5 (f): Light clothing shall not be worn publicly until June 1st of every calendar year
Section 77: Owners of licensed canines aged more that 64 years (canine equivalents) will not attempt to instruct the animal to perform previously untaught routines
Section 32: Lighting shall not be obscured or dissimulated using any form of bushel
A new division of the community police force will be deployed to ensure compliance with the rules, with “moderate” fines being imposed for those who transgress. A separate department will be created in district councils to provide education and arbitration in the case of dispute.
Ministers are congratulating themselves on this rapid first step in breaking Brussels-based bureaucracy and taking back control from organisations that are “distant, unaccountable and elitist”.