The spate of spasmodic leaks concerning the first female presidential candidate have caused considerable consternation everywhere in the news-sphere. Except here.
The Turunn Tribune consulted our expert Dr. Stig Andersen NVQ, who, in contrast to the alarmist view taken by mainstream media, gave us this less hysterical commentary:
“Although the leaks have been increasing in their frequency and severity this is not, in itself, a cause for concern. Many people in their 70s, especially women, experience sudden frequent involuntary discharges and, although embarrassing, can be easily managed. Without a detailed examination I could not speculate on whether these have been caused by Trump or even Russians, nevertheless they in no way disqualify her as a candidate”
The Tribune thinks that these Wikileaks are indeed lame. We are finalizing a much more consequential Tribbileak–in the worst-case scenario it may trigger the third major global conflagration–after we have obtained a special royal pardon-in-advance from the King of Sweden.