First Chinese National Deported Under Expedited Removal Plan

The Swedish Associated Press Reporting from Washington DC.

Deportation of unauthorized immigrants and any aliens suspected to have committed crimes has begun en masse in Donald Trump’s USA. The administration has shown its determination to target foreigners with suspect records, regardless of nationality. On the same day that Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, stated that the president wanted to “take the shackles off” the nation’s immigration enforcers, US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents put the shackles on Bao Bao, a Chinese panda, and escorted her from Washington’s National Zoo.

According to Documents released by DHS secretary John Kelly, the removal of immigrants who “have been convicted of any criminal offence”, including those who “have abused any programme related to receipt of public benefits” will be prioritized. It is believed that Bao Bao had received thousands of dollars-worth of bamboo and committed several offenses at the zoo including not coming out of her enclosure for feeding times and generally obstructing zoo personnel.

No comment has been made by the Chinese authorities, although animal rights activists in the USA are worried that Bao Bao will return to an almost certain stir-frying with bok choy and ginger, a traditional delicacy in Chengdu.