Trump Blames Hot Weather on Immigration

Fresh controversy this morning as President Trump  tweeted “they brought the weather with them…immigration from hot countries affects our climate“, alluding to the heatwave experienced on the American East Coast this winter. The President’s tweet also states that scientists from the US Environmental Protection Agency are to a publish a paper substantiating this claim. The White House is scrambling to support this assertion, one source told us:

It is entirely defendable that most of the problem immigrants come from countries with very hot climates, Mexico and the Middle East. We don’t have any cold nations that breed terrorists and criminals. EPA has been working on correlative analyses which have broadly confirmed the President’s position.

The Turunn Tribune’s scientific correspondent Dr. Stig Gunterschörn confirmed that this is not entirely implausible:

There is a common adage that you “bring the weather with you“, referring to the effect whereby certain people have a tendency to “import” the climatic conditions from their country of origin, and we see a recent trend of science proving that old sayings do in fact have a plausible causative rationale.

This is not without precedent. The post-Brexit United Kingdom recently made British folklore legally enforceable in a move to establish their non-European identity.

Swedish reaction to the President’s latest outburst has been more positive than February’s debacle. Many Swedes who are hoping to emigrate to the USA believe that this will expedite their US Green Cards due to their balancing effect on the country’s weather.