Macron Election Signals Shift in Sock Preferences

The election of Emmanuel Macron has sent a "sockwave" through the French footwear establishment

The election of Emmanuel Macron has sent a “sockwave” through the French footwear establishment. Psychologists have long known that men’s sock color reflects their degree of manliness and virility. Typically French men fall on the feminine side of this spectrum, displaying their effeminate nature in colors ranging from white (the favorite of truck drivers) to all manner of patterns and red-pink hues.  Mr. Macron has remained resolutely black/grey during his campaign and analysts expect that to continue throughout his presidency, wrong-footing the country’s sock industry. The Turunn Tribune talked to Mr. Pierre Casse-Pieds, the President of L’Association Francaise des Chaussettes Animées who told us:

This is a very dangerous time for French socks in geopolitical terms. Mr. Macron is shifting the balance towards a more manly foot and our more masculine neighbors the British, with their dark boring socks, will be the winners. Add the inevitable post-Brexit tariff on their imports and French men will no doubt pay for their choice of President. Putain, les rosbifs me font vraiment chier! (Editor’s note: translation unknown, something about eating beef and needing the bathroom)

Dark days ahead for the French foot!