Appalachia has Risen! Soothe Body and Spirit in the “New Sedona”

Things have changed in Appalachia. It was the well-meaning white people’s Mecca, so rich in poor white people that Christians could travel hundreds of miles to build houses and perform charitable acts without having to stop at their local black ghetto. Now, thanks to the nation’s religiously-oriented do-gooding organizations, Appalachia boasts a world-class infrastructure including forty vacation resorts, several casinos and numerous mega-hotels that would make Vegas turn green. The symbolic heart of the renovated region is “HouseLand” a 1540-acre theme park where–as poverty has long been eradicated–religious youth groups can come to build wooden kit houses for “poor old whitey”, engendering the team spirit and self gratifying do-goodness that used to be available when all those poor folks really lived there.

Yes, thanks to massive investment from Disney and Universal Studios, white churchgoers from all over America can still come to Appalachia and avoid feeling guilty about not helping the impoverished black neighborhoods on their doorstep. Add in the region’s fine dining, spas, lakeside retreats, golf and hunting and you have the perfect recipe for a stay that satisfies both body and spirit!