Locked and Loaded: “Weapons of Mass Dishtruction” to be Deployed in North Korea

In another world exclusive The Turunn Tribune can reveal the true meaning of President Trump’s “Locked and Loaded” threat. We obtained leaked correspondence between CIA and senior Samsung executives in Seoul revealing a plot far more sinister and strategic than anything ever imagined. According to a senior Defense Analyst:

“Think about having a device in every North Korean home–including Kim Jong Un’s palaces–that has control of water supplies and  a stockpile of potentially lethal chemicals. Now imagine that device has some intelligence and can be controlled remotely by American services; we could paralyze and annihilate the country in a matter of minutes”

Chillingly, those devices are already in place in the form of Samsung’s formidable Stormwash and WaterWall dishwashers, ubiquitous in North Korea. With Samsung’s permission, NSA operatives have been given access to these machines’ remote diagnostic codes, allowing them to be be reprogrammed and repurposed. When the machines are loaded and locked they will become what the CIA are calling “weapons of mass dishtruction”. Given Samsung’s history of producing covert weapons concealed in consumer devices, this threat is one that Kim Jong must take seriously.