US Government Partner with Hotel Chain to Ease Prison Over-Population

Morris County High-Security Detention Facility

American high-risk prisoners will soon be enjoying a daily “Governor’s Special” aside koi-carp filled artificial water features as a new government plan goes into effect. With the continued expansion in the US prison population under the Trump administration, federal officials have struck a unique “win/win” deal with the embattled Embassy Suites hotel chain to accommodate the shortfall in cells. Eighty of their hotels nationwide will be repurposed as state penitentiaries beginning in 2018. The deal is being billed as another victory for the Trump administration, finding true synergy between government and American commerce. Under the arrangement, certain features of the hotels–which were originally designed using the blueprint for San Francisco’s infamous Alcatraz jail–will be modified to suit the new role, notably:

  • Removal of keycard access
  • Improved meals (to meet the US minimum nutrition requirements for incarcerated people)
  • Conversion of the “manager’s special” (a free beverage and snack feature where clients force down as much cheap food and watered-down alcohol as they can in 2 hours while their cola-crazed kids run around screaming and sneezing in the party mix). The new “governors special” will include upgraded food offerings and alcohol-free cocktails for good behavior
  • Improved soundproofing in the suites
  • Enhanced gym and pool facilities
  • Riot-proof glass in the elevators

The first hotel to be converted is the Embassy Suites, Parsippany, which will be rebranded as the Morris County High-Security Detention Facility upon reopening in September 2019. Staff at the hotel are being offered a 3-month “conversion course” to adapt to their new roles as prison staff.