Doomsday to be Celebrated on March 21st

A new public holiday will be added to the world’s calendars in 2019 when March 21st becomes officially celebrated as International Doomsday. The global Doomsday Clock is now showing two minutes past midnight, signaling the announcement of the new holiday. Dr. Putya Maskson of the United Nation’s Global Catastrophe and Gift Shop subcommittee told us:

The clock moving forward now means we are late for Doomsday. A whole new industry has emerged selling everything from luxury bunkers to home survival accessories; we have to do our best to move with the changing times and recognize that the end of the world is overdue and inevitable. The United Nations is preparing a new line of key-rings, hoodies and smoothie holders in anticipation of this event

Luckily in Sweden there is currently an excess of fallout shelter availability. The country has constructed enough geothermally heated, sparse but stylish IKEA-furnished survival space to house its entire population and that of neighboring Switzerland. We look forward to celebrating on March 21st!