Patriots’ Super Bowl Strategy Shines Through

Tide outshone Persil in this year’s Super Bowl.

The New England Patriots clinched a narrow victory in Minneapolis on Sunday night. The Patriots’ brilliant whites significantly outperformed the lackluster greens of the Eagles. Speculation from the fans was that coach had used a slow-wash setting too early in the wash-cycle whereas their opponents played conservatively using a simple cottons wash with a 15-minute autosoak.

After the match the Eagles admitted they had struggled with Persil and were disappointed that the Patriots won the draw for Tide. Coach Pederson, speaking on a Bose headset while sipping Dasani water, told The Tribune:

It was a tight call, when teams are so evenly matched the load size becomes significant, we underestimated the Patriots ability to use the top-loader, and we were not careful enough to avoid the agitator with the defensive outfits

In the complex strategic game of American football we were heartened to see Tide sweep to victory in a refreshingly non-commercial clash of the titans.