Jobs of The Future #1: National Anthem Writer

A career special in conjunction with HBR
Meet Stig Jurgschlóofün, one man who is hoping for a major upturn in business in today’s political climate. Stig is a National Anthem Writer, a man who can effortlessly rhyme “blood of our enemies” with “across our shining seas”, or “fractured skulls lining our shores” with “marching over these majestic moors”. Just the sort of stuff our favorite anthems are made of.
The recent HBR MOREBS 2049 survey cites Anthem Writer as one of its top ten emergent future careers. HBR showed Stig the results of the survey and talked to him about his prospects and confidence in the future:
I’m delighted to be one of the few people qualified to write anthems, it’s a dying art that will be increasingly in demand. On one hand you have a global epidemic of self-importance leading to the emergence of crackpot states like post-Brexit Great Britain and Catalonia. On the other hand, the nicer nations in the world are realizing that their national tune is an anachronism: misogynistic, violent nonsense, which, like religious texts, made perfect sense when we had swords and clubs. I worked with Canada on toning-down the less savory aspects of their anthem, and other countries will follow suit. On the third hand, reconciling nations like Korea will need a new tune describing how they will jointly rain fire and destruction on the heads of the traitors and freedom-haters. That rhymed…I just can’t help it!
Don’t miss this boat! HBR will be offering courses in writing national anthems, priced at the usual rate for business people who will pay anything because it is their company that is footing the bill.