East Coast Hit by Severe Fake Weather

Fake storms are becoming the latest threat to hit a United States already buried in fake news. A fake superstorm hit the Eastern Coast of the USA Saturday night into Sunday bringing occasional snowflakes and some local puddles into the Princeton NJ area. Sustained westerly winds of up to 2 mph were experienced at the storm’s peak. Earlier on Saturday alarmed residents were packing the supermarkets buying supplies to ride out the disruptive weather.

Meteorologists are studying this new phenomena. They believe that such storms can be predicted based on the retail sales index and the current news cycle. This weekend was in fact the perfect storm: a current of lower than expected Christmas sales collided with a surge of dismal news stories involving meaningless political arguments. A fake storm was inevitable, sponsored by ShopRite, CNN and other beneficiaries who know that nothing stimulates shopper-viewers more than the threat of “white stuff”, a fact already exploited by terrorist organizations.

The Turunn Tribune, in its capacity as the world’s only real fake news agency will begin a new service “fakeweather.com” to alert readers to the potential for more fake weather this winter season.