The Gift of True Enlightenment from The Turunn Tribune

The Turunn Tribune is delighted to give all our readers the chance to reach true Buddhist enlightenment, via a special gift that can only be purchased at The Tribune Früntenshrütjoln page. While most Buddhist Gift shops will sell you a variety of Buddha statues, nice Buddha-hand candle holders, teapots, scarves, tabletop Zen gardens, or electric water features, we are offering genuine transcendence at a bargain price. We have access to guidance from the world’s leading Buddhist spiritual source, no less than his instance Ramen Nü Dul. According to Ramen Nü:

Awareness is not being aware; buying something is buying nothing; the answer is always the question; seeing is not seeing…

[you get the idea…it’s not getting the idea etc., the essence of spiritualism]

What the Ramen is expressing is the Buddhist truth that enlightenment only comes through giving everything away, dropping all attachments, losing all possessions. Makes those other Buddhist gift shops look pretty stupid, right? The nice marble Buddha statue is only $35 plus guaranteed entrapment in the next cycle of karmic rebirth.

So, visit the Früntenshrütjoln page today and take advantage of the world exclusive offer of a guaranteed ticket to Nirvana!