Royal Swedish Lines Offer New Missile Watching Cruises

Spring is the beginning of the Asian missile season, a great time to watch the colorful selection of missiles launched at the behest of power-crazed leaders into the blue skies above turquoise tropical seas. The Turunn Tribune has partnered with Swedish Royal Cruise Lines to offer a special 10-day missile watching cruise featuring all the latest luxury amenities. Guests can select their favorite gastrointestinal rotavirus from one of the sixteen 24-hour buffet stations; watch typhoons from the safety of the Storm Lounge; slug endless cheap watered-down exotic-sounding liquors in the all-you-can-drink 24/7 poolside bar; monitor the “man overboard cams” to watch the inevitable drunken plummet over the railings. We guarantee that there will be no need for mental effort, you will not be exposed to anything or anyone foreign and you and your belongings will be carried round by a crew of happy low-income employees who enjoy working hours that would be illegal in any land-based employment.

Seeing at least five missiles is almost guaranteed as our beautiful ship, the Royal Swedish Hürringkraft, charts its journey from the expanding Chinese military presence in the contested waters of the South China Sea, then continues past the bristling Japanese nuclear bases allowing guests a panoramic sweep of the Koreas. The finale takes the Hürringkraft into the Bering Sea to get a prime view of the Russian Kura Test Site. Sign-up today, fireworks are guaranteed!