UN Launch Major Campaign in Iran Crisis

The United Nations has stepped-in to take action to improve the rapidly degrading political climate in the Persian Gulf. A UN spokesperson announced today that they are planning a major campaign, including a program of “unilateral launches” that are a direct consequence of the crisis. Some observers are anxious that any such launches will only lead to further escalation, however reassurance was provided by a senior UN official earlier today:

We are launching an innovative new selection of key tags and insulated drink holders to help raise awareness of the situation in the region. This new line will be available in the main New York gift shop complex and will feature vivid messaging to focus the buying public’s attention on the core issues in the Iranian conflict.

Finally, the United Nations is bringing the full weight of its substantial trinket and T-shirt arsenal to help solve the world’s more intractable political problems. A range of Palestinian sportswear, co-designed with Ivanka Trump, is planned for release in the Fall.