Sports


Scrottfroght’s Edible Adventurer Apparel

Thanks to the Scrottfroght’s mountainwear design team your huskies, sherpas and slightly overweight climbing buddy will sleep a little more easily on the next expedition. Scrottfroght’s Edible Adventurer Apparel solves the problem of what to…


Patriots’ Super Bowl Strategy Shines Through

The New England Patriots clinched a narrow victory in Minneapolis on Sunday night. The Patriots’ brilliant whites significantly outperformed the lackluster greens of the Eagles. Speculation from the fans was that coach had used a slow-wash…



Tour de Beardstein

Summer is here, Scandinavia moves from permafrost to permasun, and Swedes everywhere enjoy traditional pastimes of hunting drunk Norwegian itinerants in pine forests with crossbows and cycling through tundra to look for thawed squirrels. To celebrate this outdoor…


China to Host all Future Olympic Events

In a shock statement issued earlier today the International Olympic Committee announced that all future Olympic events–both the summer and winter games– will be held in Beijing, China starting in 2022. FIFA have also made it…


BMI “Pandemic” warns CDC

Health officials are waking up today to a new global pandemic in the form of BMI, a previously overlooked threat. BMI is a particularly cruel affliction targeting health-conscious people, typically middle-aged gym-goers trying to fit…



The TTT 401K: No Fees, No Enrollment, All Welcome!

To mark the discovery of the possible health benefits associated with running, The Turunn Tribune is delighted to announce its first annual 401K Family Fun Run. The run will begin at Madison Wisconsin’s ridiculously oversized…